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http://www.celebritymorgue.com/kurt-cobain/

To the left, a 1995 publicity still showing Kurt Cobain mocking suicide. This was taken quite some time prior to his death, which was accomplished with a shotgun rather than a semiautomatic rifle.

In his later life, Kurt was plagued by intense stomach pain, one of the reasons he relied so much on drugs. Not an attempt to justify drug use, just his answer to the pain.

Four weeks before his death, Cobain attempted suicide in Italy, leaving him in a temporary coma, widely reported in the media at the time.

Kurt Cobain's body was discovered on April 8, 1994 by electrician Gary Smith, who was to install a burglar alarm in the residence. It is likely he killed himself on April 5. Heroin and valium both were found in his blood. The shotgun blast destroyed his head to the point where he was not recognizable; the body was identified from fingerprints. Cobain was 27.

Word spread quickly. MTV took the unprecedented step of ceasing all normal programming. An outdoor vigil in Seattle witnessed the playback of Cobain's suicide note, recorded by his wife Courtney Love. One fan killed himself after this event. Several others scattered about the country also followed.

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/gracefyr/greatone.htm

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, the ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seem to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is somehting I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out then to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain.

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar

Please keep going Courtney,

for Frances.

for her life will be so much happier

without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU

http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/studio/5402/kurtnote.jpg

Many good pictures:

http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/studio/5402/

http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/studio/5402/death.jpg

http://hometown.aol.com/shortdemo/Nirvana.html

http://hometown.aol.com/shortdemo/crn.html

The following is a transcript of Courtney Love's taped message, which includes her reading of parts of Kurt's suicide note, played to the crowd gathered for a hastily organized memorial at the Seattle Center on April 10, 1994.

I don't really know what to say. I feel the same way you guys do. If you guys don't think that I had to sit in this room when he played guitar and sing - I feel so honored to be near him - you're crazy. Anyway, he left a note. It's more like a letter to the fucking editor. I don't know what happened. I mean, it was gonna happen. It could have happened when he was 40. He always said he was going to outlive everybody and be 120. I'm not gonna read you all the note, because it's none of the rest of your fucking business, but some of it is to you. I don't really think it takes away his dignity to read this, considering that it's addressed to most of you. He's such an asshole. I want you all to say asshole really loud.

Kurt says: "This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the wording's from the Punk Rock 101. Over the years, it's my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence, and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along with really writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish in the love and admiration from the crowd" - Well Kurt, so fucking what? Then don't be a rock star, you asshole - "which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or to me. The worst crime I could think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending I'm having 100 percent fun." No, Kurt, the worst crime I can think of is for you to just continue being a rock star when you fucking hate and just fucking stop. "Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out onstage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me, I do. But it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music. But I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and the empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us, and I simply think I love people too much" - So why didn't you just fucking stay? - "so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad, little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man". Oh, shut up, bastard. "Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know."

Then he goes on to say personal things to me that are none of your damn business, personal things to Frances that are none of your damn business. "I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful. But since the age of 7, I've become hateful towards all humans in general only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy" - Empathy! - "only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern over the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby, and I don't have the passion anymore, so remember" - And don't remember this, because this is a fucking lie - "it's better to burn out then to fade away." God, you asshole.

"Peace, Love, Empathy,

Kurt Cobain."

Then there's some personal things that are none of your damn business. And just remember, this is all bullshit. But I want you to know one thing: That '80s tough-love bullshit - it doesn't work. It's not real. It doesn't work. I should have let him, we all should have let him, have his numbness. We should have let him have the thing that made him feel better, we should have let him have it, instead of trying to strip away his skin. You go home, and you tell your parents, "Don't you ever try that tough-love bullshit, because it doesn't fucking work." That's what I think when I'm lying in our bed, and I'm really sorry, and I feel the same way you do. I'm really sorry, you guys. I don't know what I could have done. I wish I'd have been here, and I wish I had listened to other people, but I didn't. Every night I've been sleeping with his mother, and I wake up in the morning, I think it's him, because her body's sort of the same. And I have to go now. Just tell him he's a fucker, OK? Just say, "Fucker, you're a fucker," and that you love him.

http://www.globalserve.net/~artnet/musicnet.htm